Thomas Joseph Gilliam, Sr., baptized into the hope of Christ's Resurrection on Thursday, December 19, 2024. 

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Born in St. Louis to a large, boisterous, and loving Irish Catholic family, Tom spent his early years in South St. Louis attending St. Matthew’s grade school and McBride High School. He studied English and History at Southeast Missouri State University and recalled fondly his time at Cape as a Sigma Chi. Tom proceeded to earn a master’s degree in Western European History from St. Louis University. 

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Tom knew a good thing when he saw it, so when he met Doreen Dussold, he fell in love and married the “nicest and cutest girl in Walnut Park.” Their selfless and loving marriage of 55 years has been a role model for our family and countless friends. Doreen was his heart and the twinkle in his eye. Tom and Doreen together were a force unstoppable. They collaborated to start Shelter the Children in 1988 to provide housing and spiritual support to the neediest of St. Louis teenagers. Tom’s Catholic faith was a source of comfort and strength for him, and he and Doreen have been active parishioners of Holy Infant Parish in Ballwin for 47 years. 

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Tom was as humble as they come, but he was a giant of a man with a servant’s heart.

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Tom’s family was his greatest love, and they in turn loved him fiercely. His last few days at home were marked by his family sharing treasured stories and laughter. We are profoundly grateful for the gift of our Dad. He has coached our soccer teams, fixed our cars, waited up past curfew, danced at our weddings, and mentored us professionally. While his death leaves a hole in our hearts, we will continue his legacy of love and service.   

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Tom was a natural educator and looked fondly on the time he spent teaching at St. Mary’s High School. When he entered the insurance and financial services industry, he continued to mentor young professionals and served on executive boards. He received countless awards for his service and, true to his nature, downplayed the significance of his contributions while providing accolades to others around him. He especially valued the personal relationships he had with his colleagues and clients - who often became friends.

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Tom’s sense of humor was legendary, and he was a connoisseur of the dad joke. For out of town family members, airport pickups were dicey - Tom used them as an opportunity to dress up in costume to maximize the laughs.

 

Tom was full of joy and spread immeasurable joy to others. His presence on the dance floor started the party. Every year, he looked forward to driving his Model A car in the Dogtown St. Patricks’ Day parade with Doreen in the passenger seat. The crowds went wild, and he loved it.  

 

​A lover of the arts, Tom modeled for his children an appreciation of literature, poetry, and music. In fact, he was known to occasionally recite Chaucer - in perfect Middle English.

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Nature was a source of peace and contentment for Tom. Castlewood Park held a special place in his heart, and he could often be seen walking the trails along the Meramec River, thinking about his mother’s time at the park in the 1920s.  

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Tom is survived by his adoring family. Beloved husband of Doreen Gilliam (nee Dussold). Loving father of Thomas Jr. Gilliam (Molly Mitchell), Amy Gilliam (Chris Sack), Sean Gilliam (Megan), Mary Gilliam, Laura Gilliam (Jack Wintermann), and Stephen Gilliam (Corinn). Proud grandfather of Abby (Jeff), Patrick (Natalie), Molly, Katie (Cameron), Cole, Genevieve, Alice, Tommy III, Quinn, Liam, Samuel, Ronan, Medora Rose, Grace, Elizabeth, Evelyn, and Penelope. Tom was filled with loving excitement awaiting the arrival of his and Doreen’s first great-grandchild, expected by Abby and Jeff in April 2025.

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Dear brother of Jim (the late Sheila) Gilliam, Mary (John) Timmermann, Jerry (Barb) Gilliam, the late Floyd (the late Pat) Gilliam, the late Ray (the late Dot) Gilliam, and the late Bill (the late Nancy) Gilliam.  Dear uncle, cousin, and friend of many. He is also preceded in death by his parents, Floyd Thomas and Mary Ann Gilliam and his honorary mother, Alice Penelope Howard.  

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Services: The family received friends for a visitation at Holy Infant Catholic Church in Ballwin, Monday, December 23, 2024 and a Memorial Mass following.  Contributions may be made to the Ronald McDonald House or The Children's Oncology Group Foundation.